The King Worshiper and the Separatist - By Hataw Sarkawt

My friends and I understand each other relatively well. He supports PUK, the Persian United Kingdom, and tells me that separating the kingdom into pieces makes his country weaker. I tell him that letting the pieces grow independently makes the whole region stronger. When we are among strangers, I introduce him as a devoted monarchist and he introduces me as a free thinker. When it is just the two of us, we don’t care about political correctness and call each other what other people call us, the King worshiper and the separatist.

Knowing how I think, my friend invited me to see an interview with the King he worships. He said the King has turned democratic and volunteers to lead the people again. I reminded him what volunteerism means to a King. A King volunteers to live in a castle and utilize the services of guards, maids, cooks, drivers and other servants for free. Through his volunteerism people have something to do and develop a sense of belonging to the community of servants. My friend thought I was too cynical and insisted I should see the interview to find out the positive sides of his King, and I am glad I did.

I was impressed with the initial humble words of the King during his dialogue with the reporter. He gradually became so assertive that the dialogue became a monologue, and the reporter turned to a nodding and confirming figure. The polite reporter seemed to be a devoted King’s man.

The King made some interesting comments about different groups of people in his future Kingdom. He stated that everyone ranging form the right wing clergies and fanatic soldiers to the leftist intellectuals and rebels who once opposed the kingdom are part of his people and therefore entitled to equal human rights. My friend and I applauded the King for his progressive and democratic statement.

The reporter asked if the king had any concern about the foreigners and the separatists. He reassured the concerned reporter that the Kurds are the most ancient and devoted Iranians. Even the ones outside his Kingdom think they are Iranians, said the King. I recognized what PUK stood for in his mind. He further explained that in protecting the country the Kurds are usually in the front line, and so cheap meat during crisis came to my mind.

The King was very explanatory; however, he was not able to clarify why some Kurds preferred a separate state. He forgot to mention that as devoted and ancient people they should be allowed to speak their language officially and participate in the leadership of the country equally. Since he was short of convincing words, this time only my friend applauded the King.

My friend knew why I didn’t applaud and tried to cheer me up. He jokingly said even if a separatist becomes the prime minister of our country, he or she could not become the King or the supreme leader; the Kingdom and the supremacy is inherited only by one ethnic group and for sure it is not your group. This time I applauded for my friend alone. He finally recognized why a separatist and a king can not relate to each other.

He was disappointed that I did not become a King’s man, but I cheered him up. I told him I like his King better than the ones Obama recently visited, worshiped, and considered as wise. I told him if I am forced to participate in the undemocratic Iranian election, I would choose my friend’s semi-democratic secular king over all the current approved Islamic presidential candidates.


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June 4, 2009
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